seriously im not.
i try to be the maggielim that everyone knows
the maggielim that laughs for no reason
i tell myself that he will get better every single day
but, the day has to come one day
the day where everyone breaks down and cry
and then everyone found that they have not done enough
next they start regretting and blaming themselves for being useless
im trying to be strong
and not to cry in front of anybody
until now i think i did quite well,
except a few times when i really cannot control
since young, i am already a crybaby
i can cry and cry for more than 2 hours nonstop.
until my eyes are redder than angpaos and more sore than anything
but im trying.trying very hard to be stronger.
im not a kid anymore, i must not show my weakness in front of anybody
every night i get so tired that even sitting on the sofa, i will fall asleep
but when im on the bed, i just cant seem to fall asleep
everything will crawl into my mind
and i can imagine everything happening
im suffering from insomnia everyday
seriously, im tired, im exhausted, im worn out
but i dont complain. i just act like nothing happened
yes, of course, everyone's life will end eventually
but i seriously dont think that he deserves to suffer so much
its really difficult to learn to accept reality.
but, theres no other options
can i do it?
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